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10 bad advice to applicants (comic)

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In my work as a recruiter, which I have been doing for almost 10 years, I often have to deal with applicants whose candidacies are withdrawn from consideration due to their mistakes in the negotiation process.

Of course, we are not talking about top managers and experts at the expert level, because they, as a rule, have already earned a reputation in the process of building their careers, have the necessary connections and are so demanded by the modern labor market that they no longer need to search for jobs. They always have several job offers.

In this article, I propose, in the form of harmful advice, to discuss the mistakes made in the process of job search by job seekers at the specialist level.

Do not submit resume

Having seen a vacancy that meets your expectations, you do not need to send a resume. Urgently call the telephone number indicated in the announcement and ask questions about the amount of wages, the availability of an extended social package and the amount of compensation for fuel and lubricants. If the answers satisfy you, then insist on resolving all the issues without a resume, because it is not necessary, because you will come and tell everything about yourself.

By the way, if you decide to create a resume, avoid common mistakes.

Do not specify a position

If you are submitting a resume for a vacancy that interests you, do not write about which vacancy you are applying for, or simply indicate that you are looking for a job in accordance with your experience and interests. Let the HR manager decide for you what interests you, he has a lot of free time, and therefore he will solve this problem with dignity and pleasure.

Request a meeting with the director

If, based on the results of considering your resume, you were invited to an interview and offered to fill out a questionnaire, I recommend that you definitely share your opinion that this questionnaire is a sign of bureaucracy in this company and not a very high level of mental development of its leadership. Alternatively, you can make it clear to the HR manager that you are offended by the need for an initial interview with him, and that you are ready to communicate only with the manager, whose staff requires a specialist.

Dress at home

Being invited to an interview, it is not necessary to follow the dress code, because you still do not work there, and therefore it is better to come for an interview immediately from the cottage or a prolonged banquet. One hundred percent result will be ensured if at the interview you refuse to take off your outer clothing and hat, any company wants to get a specialist in its staff who ignores the rules of good form.

Reschedule an interview

In the process of coordinating interviews, it is not necessary to warn the HR manager about the delay or postponement of the meeting time, because you consider yourself a valuable specialist, and therefore let the whole world wait.

Indicate irrelevant contact details

The resume and application form should indicate only those phone numbers that you use occasionally or plan to change in the near future.

Tell us all about your past job.

At the interview, do not forget to talk about how incompetent your manager was at your previous job, and how difficult it was to work in a team of gossips and careerists. This story about scandals-intrigues-investigations will reveal in you a loyal and diplomatic potential future employee.

Mortgage, loan and sick relatives

To the question about the basis of which you evaluate the value of your work, tell us about the fact that you have a loan, a mortgage and a car loan. This will be appreciated by the employer much higher than your assessment of the level of development of professional and personal competencies.

Call HR Manager daily

In the final part of the interview, you should not agree on the time of receipt and feedback format, it is better to call daily and ask about when you should get to work.

Get your spouse to work and relax

I will complete the list of tips with an old joke.

At the divorce proceedings, the husband indicates the tedium of his wife as the reason for the divorce. The judge requests clarification of what it consists of. The husband asks the judge: “Mr. judge, is it possible for a family to live on one salary?” The judge replies: "I believe that a family can live on one salary." Inspired by the judge’s response, the husband says: “Here! I also think so, and this bore every day asks me when I will find work! ”

I hope that bad advice will help you avoid mistakes in the process of finding a job, get the treasured job offer and grow to the level of expert or top manager.

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